Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mohammed Teddy Bear and Other Interesting Tidbits

Yesterday I wrote this hilarious post about scientists and how they plan to kill a bunch of rats on Rat Island (I read about it on They're mad because there are no more chocolate lilies and birds on this particular island. I proposed renaming scientists a-holes because it's more fitting. Anyway, you should have seen it. It was choice. A gem.

But I decided not to publish the post because I didn't finish writing it and also because I lost interest in the subject soon after I began writing it. In this day and age, who has control over their attention span? And anyway, I was at work when I wrote it (during lunch, of course) and then I started working and pressure and deadlines and the hey hey hey. I've had this enormous project weighing down on me for several months. As you may have noticed, I now have gray hair. I blame the project.

Soon it will be done. The project. It irritates me to feel so much stress regarding something at work. I'll be frank and say that I don't think I get paid enough to feel pressure. Increase my pay by a few dollars and then I'll feel worthy of the pressure. As it is, I may as well be running a hot dog stand here. However, the wiener man down the street probably earns more moola than me. I think I'll go make hot dogs.

So, can you believe this thing in Sudan? The teacher. The teddy bear. The children and Mohammed. I've seen a picture of the teacher and I have to say, she looks as malicious as a baby seal. I can't believe there's actually a place in the world where someone COULD be punished for something as innocent as naming a teddy bear. I've known several stuffed animals named after religious celebrities and other icons. In fact, isn't it MORE offensive to have an entire culture named Mohammed (every Muslim man, practically) than a comforting, cuddly teddy bear? Men are wicked and lustful and capable of horrific acts. A teddy bear is inanimate and if nothing else, capable of great heroism. Who does a child adore more than their teddy bear?

Anyway, I don't see this thing blowing over without bloodshed. However, I really hope the woman gets to go home without the lashes. 40 lashes would probably kill me, I'm such a wimp (only funny if you know how burly I am. They call me "Lady"). In the meantime, I guess we should all be careful about what we say. That's the message they're sending, right?

There's a new "season" of Futurama out. I guess it's supposed to air on Comedy Central, but it's already available on dvd. That's what happens when you have diehard fans. Your series goes off the air. The fans keep on lovin' you, and then bam! Some network cashes in. Something like that. I'm just hoping something similar happens for Arrested Development. And the same cast comes back. And it runs for at least five more season. And then there are spin-offs for each character.

"He's still thinking about bees."


cassi said...

I'm glad you didn't publish your post with your scientist-renaming proposal. I might have gotten angry :)

Yeah, I read about that whole teddy bear incident, too. Then I read about the 19 year old Saudi gang rape victim who was sentenced to lashes and prison time for supposedly committing adultery. Then I felt like going on a rampage and kicking the trash out of a bunch of people. But I didn't, cause really, I'm too tired and don't have the energy for a good rampage. And when I rampage, I go all-out--none of that half-hearted stuff.

PS Nik- I saw a commercial last night. NBC is bringing American Gladiator back in January. That's awesome. Haha.

Aries327 said...

That's awesome. I've really missed American Gladiator. That show was really ahead of it's time. What I'd like to see is the American Gladiators pitted against weaker people from other nations, a la Olympics. Know what I mean?

Anyway, Cassi, not all scientists are a-holes. Just the ones who can't live with a mistake so they toy with the environment in an effort to "restore equilibrium." Evolution happens in response to changes in ecosystems. What bothers me is these "scientists" will probably stop a super-powered species of rat from developing. And I probably could have taken over the world as the queen of the rats after I harnessed their powers into an unstoppable force.

Anyway, maybe you can channel that rampage on the new American Gladiator show.

cassi said...

I'm sorry that they ruined your plans to take over the world. But not really sorry. Because the world is actually mine to take over. Bwa hah hah hah!

So I read an article this morning on Turns out that they decided on 15 days imprisonment and deportation for the teacher. Apparently, though, that's not enough. The thousands of protesters who marched on the British Embassy think she should be executed. Yep, execution is definitely a punishment that's proportionate to the "crime" of naming a teddy bear.

cassi said...

Also, in regards to the scientists, I'm going to have to disagree with you. The problem isn't evolution--it's an invasive species. And it results in decreased biodiversity, which is a bad thing. Evolution is something that occurs gradually, resulting in changes among competing species and in the creation of new species that can occupy different niches, which, rather than decreasing biodiversity, increases it. When an invasive species invades, it's already adapted to a specific niche, and so wipes out any other species that may occupy a similar niche without allowing that species to also adapt.

Sorry, that wasn't supposed to sound like I'm lecturing. But, I do think that invasive species need to be controlled. Even at the expense of your rat army :)

Aries327 said...

Whatever. Haven't many species been invasive at some point?

You're very irritating. You know-it all.

I read the same updates about the teacher and the teddy-bear. If only Americans and Brits were as keen on rallying about this as the Sudanese and Muslims. There's only one answer at this point: WAR.

cassi said...

I can't believe you just said I'm irritating. Brat face. I'm telling Mom.

Aries327 said...

I meant it in a good way.

Dani said...

would you two stop fighting, please. Sheesh, do I always have to play referee?! :)

Aries327 said...

Yes. That's why you became a psychologist, doctor.