I told my younger sister Cassi that I would have a new post up yesterday. It seems like I might have promised her, but then I didn't do it. I don't usually break promises and I don't know what happened, really, I just didn't get to it. I was reading or something. Anyway, apparently she depends on them to get through her long, grueling hours waiting for the zebrafish embryos to do something in their little petrie dishes. Fertilize themselves or something. I have no idea really. Something glamorous like that.
In case you're wondering about Cassi, she's the genius of the family. I rarely talk about my family because they're very important to me and I don't want to encourage potential stalkers. Cassi is stalk-able, if there is such a thing. In fact she had a stalker in high school. For the sake of ease, we'll call him Jeremy. Jeremy wouldn't stop emailing Cassi and instant messaging her (they do that, these days, kids), oh and also calling her and probably doing an occasional drive-by . . . you know the kind, everyone's done them. Dim the lights, drive stealthily by in the dark just to see if they're home, just to gaze upon the house that shelters their beautiful bones. . . . I've never done that kind of thing.
When she went away to college (an Ivy League school on the East Coast. . . . Are they all on the East Coast? Shows you how 'in the know' I am . . .) he made her this cd with a cover that said something like, "Cassi and Jeremy, together forever . . ." Or something ridiculous like that. Cassi, in the typical manner of white personality types, did nothing and hoped the problem would go away. For the most part, it did.
When I say genius, I mean she's everything. Renaissance woman. Observe:
1) An athlete. In high school she was the star soccer player, as well as lettering in track and flying to such diverse places as Florida to race. Also she went to Moscow, Russia for some race thing. Racing. She loves to race, in spite of that white personality (I'm making that up, I don't know if she has a white personality).
2) A scholar. In addition to getting a 35 on the ACT (high is 36), she got excellent SAT scores (I don't know what they were, the SAT crap is a mystery to me since I never concerned myself with them). Maybe she just tests well, you're thinking, but she also took the toughest AP courses during high school and passed them all. AP calculus, AP biology, AP history etc. I might be making some of those classes up. I'm not 100% sure which ones she took. But I know they were hard. Now she's studying pre-med at the University of Penn.
3) A comedian. Or maybe she's only hilarious to me. You decide. I've included a link to her new blog on my sidebar. Cassi, that's her name and the link (for those who are not geniuses among you. What am I saying? I know you're all geniuses). Also, she started another web page for this elite club she started back in high school. Here's the link. I find that her type of humor is the most entertaining and that the kind of people who utilize it are few and far between, to quote an oft used phrase (and thus illustrating my superior intelligence). But honestly, she cracks me up like no other. Maybe I'm just biased because I've watched her grow from this adorable, happy little girl into a full grown woman riddled with complexities, not to mention a rich trove of sarcasm at her disposal. And as we all know, sarcasm is the highest, most developed form of humor.
4) A gamer. Here's the part that kills the computer geeks of the world. She's brilliant, she's funny, she's attractive AND she loves to play computer games. Any games for that matter. Xbox, PS2, etc. PLUS she's rules at them. I'm serious. She's so versed in the rules and space of game worlds that she finds her way around them with ease. Then she conquers them. It's amazing. Any man with a brain who enjoys losing himself in an Xbox game is DYING for a girl like Cassi who will understand the drive, no, the need to conquer game worlds.
5) A reader. She's a voracious reader. Thus, smarter. As we all know, people who read are the most intelligent. Somehow they just know more. Their brains are more developed. Their imaginations more colorful and active. Their ability to retain information stronger. I think Cassi has read more books than me. And I studied English literature as both an undergrad and a grad student.
6) A red-headed beauty. Yes, she's a red-head. And therefore beautiful. I don't know, maybe I'm biased in favor of the red-heads. My mother and two of my sisters, including Cassi, are red-headed. I'm hard pressed to say there's a red-head I've met that I didn't like. In other words, I've never met a red-head I didn't like. Crazy? I don't know. It makes me wish I had red hair. Honestly. Since wishing isn't helping me, I simply hope to have an adorable little girl with red-hair. If Stoker doesn't deliver . . . well, you know Henry VII? I'm joking, I'm joking. I absolutely ADORE Stoker as you all know.
So there you have it. Cassi. The amazing Cassi.
She's going to kill me for writing this. But I'm in Arizona, she's in Utah. You do the math.