Monday, May 15, 2006

Sick of TRUE Ads

So, in a frenzy of irritation, I whipped up a quick email to the people at TRUE -- that stupid relationship site who claims that they're all about something like: "Live. Love. Learn." Yeah right. I'm so sick of their stupid ads staring at me everytime I log into myspace or my hotmail account. Is anyone else feeling this? I mean, they're getting sluttier and sluttier. And yes, I felt this way about sluttiness before I was married. It has nothing to do with being a married woman. It has to do with principles. And it has to do with the fact that it bugs the hell out of me that they try to look like a good and classy relationship site, while using sex to sell their services. Hmm, sounds a little like prostitution.

Yes, I know, they all do it. 'They all' meaning every business out there. Pretty much. Magazines. Victoria's Secret, and oh yes, I'm sick of their slutty ads too (their bras aren't even that good. I've had better). What a whorehouse they are. I'm serious. I've had it up to here with it all and I'm this close (imagine my thumb and finger a millimeter apart) to severing all my ties with the outside world. I have neither television nor the internet, at home. So, all I've got to do is stay inside now and I won't have to deal with it any more.

Here's the letter. Let me know what you think. Oh geez, I hope I spelled everything right. I know no one will read it. At least, not anyone who matters, with any power. But what else can I do? Stop using the internet? I'm this close to doing that. Believe me. I am. I'm not kidding.
(To be read in the Comic Book Guy's voice [from The Simpson's].)

Dear TRUE,

I simply want to let your company know that I find your ad campaign deplorable and offensive. Your motto, "Live. Love. Learn." has absolutely nothing to do with the images plastered all over every single internet site I visit. The two, your logo and the images you couple it with, are completely unrelated. And they're disgusting. Yesterday I saw one of a girl leaning forward in what I can only call lingerie, as though if I joined your website, I'd be subscribing to a great big fleshpot of nearly naked women. Oh what fun that would be. Yeah, you know what, your ads MAKE me want to join. I mean, it's like pleasure island once I get in, isn't it?

What bothers me is that I can't change the channel, you know? I log in to my hotmail account and there's an ad with a girl in a string bikini asking me, "Naughty, or Nice?" And I have to ignore it. And I have to think about my husband logging into hotmail or myspace seeing the exact same half-naked woman looking at him, asking the exact same slutty quesiton, "Naughty, or Nice." What does he think? I wonder. The problem isn't him because he's exactly how he should be, a man with God-given urges and desires, which I truly appreciate when it's me and him. But I can't be there 24/7 and while he's a very good man, he's also a man. That's what you're counting on, though, isn't it? Your company doesn't give a damn about families. Or husbands and wives. Break 'em up, right? As long as you get rich doing it.

The problem isn't the service you provide. Because if it's about single people, great. But you don't seem to care about the demographic. You think, hell, we'll just blast the entire public because there's no way to just reach single people. And you think, we'll go for the lowest common denominator: sex. Great, that's just great, beacuse sex sells, doesn't it. So what you really provide, under the guise of a relationship site, if I'm to believe the slutty blonde asking me, "Naughty or Nice." is something akin to a brothel. Some kind of whore-house or huge orgy site. Right? If that's the case, why don't you just drop the "Live. Love. Learn." and call it what it is? We both know you have nothing to do with loving or learning if all you can shove in my face is a girl bending over in her black negligee.


Okay, final note. I'm sure Stoker behaves himself when I'm not around. I trust him. I just hate thinking about him seeing slutty girls on magazine covers and the internet and walking down the street, because I know he does. It's just not fair. That's all. I'm a baby about it, too. Sigh. But that's what life is all about. Loving and learning. Right? And forgiving and growing and writing angry emails to companies and your congressman and such.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It is amusingly ironic that the ads on your blog ("I'm so poor, visit these sites!") are for 1) Women's Bras and 2) Silkies Intimate Apparel. I assume the ads are randomly generated, but given the subject matter of your post, the ads do inspire a chuckle.