Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Environmentalists and Wild Oats

I thought I might as well tell you, it's going to be a while before I get the internet at home. What that means for you is that my posts will be infrequent. But you can change that by giving me some money for my monthly internet bill. Or donations. Whatever you want to call them. I'm a non-profit organization, so it would count as a write-off. Or something. Maybe I'm a for-profit organization. I don't really know. Contact me for details.

But seriously. I've been meaning to do a post about working at Wild Oats, but I hate writing at the library. It sucks. Honestly, the only interesting thing about my job at Wild Oats is me. And my perceptions of Wild Oats and all the cr-a-a-a-a-zy customers. Yeah, they're crazy. Convinced they're saving the environment by getting paper, not plastic, and by purchasing Seventh Generation biodegradable toliet paper and whatnot. And then they leave the store with their paper bags and Seventh Generation toliet paper*, heading for the parking lot and their giant Hummers and Escalades and Yukons. I'm serious. The highest concentration of SUVs in Nashville, other than Music Row (where all the studios are, for the uninformed), is the Wild Oats parking lot. And what do their SUVs consume? Gasoline. That's right. And where does gasoline come from? Petroleum. That's right. And why are these customers currently so enraged about the fact that Wild Oats STILL offers plastic bags for groceries? Because it's a petroleum by-product. That's right. A few days ago I had a customer inform another, obviously naive customer, that plastic bags are made from petroleum. He was very upset. He must have read that enlightening article in Vanity Fair's green issue (did you see it? Oh yeah, it was great. It had George Clooney, Al Gore and Julia Roberts on the cover, amongs others. Oh, you didn't know? They all have Phd's in environmental sciences and teach at UC Berkeley, Stanford and Harvard in their spare time).

Anyway, folks, I'm not a scientist myself. And I don't know that much about oil or where exactly gasoline comes from. Or plastic bags. Because I'm also not an environmentalist. Yet. I'm working at Wild Oats, you never know, they may convert me. But I do know that SUV's get around 18 miles to the gallon. I don't mind. I'm into double standards.

Oh yeah, that Vanity Fair green issue. Printed on paper. Where does paper come from? Trees. Maybe pulp farms, if your lucky. But how do they get paper from trees? Paper mills. What do paper mills do? Pollute the enviroment. Aaah. The cycle. It's beautiful.

p.s. The author makes no claims that any of the content of this blog is a fact.

*If they really want to save the environment, they should recycle their toliet paper. Because where does toliet paper come from?


Shumit said...

Nic nic nicole,

Whats up babe ?? Found you again on christys page on blogspot and got your blog from your page. I am living and working in india and it is kind of nice to live at home with my parents. My sister just got married yesterday and it a real nice ceremony. Well, i just smiled to myself about us burning that voodoo doll at jen's was so much fun.

Well thats it for now and holla back on my blog.

Anonymous said...

deararies327: Yeah, the whole double standard thing...honestly. Loved the insight on the "beautiful cycle." Personally, I prefer plastic bags myself--and what do I do? I REUSE my plastic bags for various things. See, we can all make lemons out of lemonade. What? Anyway, I'll try to send some Internet bill money your way. Keep writing dammit!

the beautiful diabetic said...

HI! Long time! I have been an infrequent poster as well. Working at my new job, which just happens to be a HUGE oil and gas company!! HAHA! ANYWAY!!! REgarding the Vanity Fair 'green' issue...I am still trying to figure out why in the heck Julia Roberts was on the cover? She wasn't featured in the probably went something like this: (inside the mind of Graydon Carter) 'I wonder how we can get people to buy this green issue...hmmm...hmmm...OOOHH! I know! Let's put pretty woman on the cover and dress her up like a woodland fairy!'
Hope Nashville is treating you well!!!

Anonymous said...

another odd thing is that the customers insist that they recycle the plastic bags...though our plastic bags are non-recyclable. (sp?) they are MADE from recycled plastic and for some odd reason the cycle has to stop there. it makes no sense to me...i try to reuse my paper bags, although i grew up next to a paper mill and those places are the most horrible things in existance! the one thing i do know is that the trees are constantly replanted. if you ever are in northwest florida driving down smaller roads, notice that all the pine trees are in perfect rows. but the actual plant itself worked hard at destroying our bay. not to mention the smell!! but my favorite thing was told to me by someone working in the deli who had a customer come up and want to know what was vegan and what was not because she did not eat anything that wasn't vegan...this same customer was wearing a fur coat and leather shoes. hmmm...gotta love green hills.