I thought I might as well tell you, it's going to be a while before I get the internet at home. What that means for you is that my posts will be infrequent. But you can change that by giving me some money for my monthly internet bill. Or donations. Whatever you want to call them. I'm a non-profit organization, so it would count as a write-off. Or something. Maybe I'm a for-profit organization. I don't really know. Contact me for details.
But seriously. I've been meaning to do a post about working at Wild Oats, but I hate writing at the library. It sucks. Honestly, the only interesting thing about my job at Wild Oats is me. And my perceptions of Wild Oats and all the cr-a-a-a-a-zy customers. Yeah, they're crazy. Convinced they're saving the environment by getting paper, not plastic, and by purchasing Seventh Generation biodegradable toliet paper and whatnot. And then they leave the store with their paper bags and Seventh Generation toliet paper*, heading for the parking lot and their giant Hummers and Escalades and Yukons. I'm serious. The highest concentration of SUVs in Nashville, other than Music Row (where all the studios are, for the uninformed), is the Wild Oats parking lot. And what do their SUVs consume? Gasoline. That's right. And where does gasoline come from? Petroleum. That's right. And why are these customers currently so enraged about the fact that Wild Oats STILL offers plastic bags for groceries? Because it's a petroleum by-product. That's right. A few days ago I had a customer inform another, obviously naive customer, that plastic bags are made from petroleum. He was very upset. He must have read that enlightening article in Vanity Fair's green issue (did you see it? Oh yeah, it was great. It had George Clooney, Al Gore and Julia Roberts on the cover, amongs others. Oh, you didn't know? They all have Phd's in environmental sciences and teach at UC Berkeley, Stanford and Harvard in their spare time).
Anyway, folks, I'm not a scientist myself. And I don't know that much about oil or where exactly gasoline comes from. Or plastic bags. Because I'm also not an environmentalist. Yet. I'm working at Wild Oats, you never know, they may convert me. But I do know that SUV's get around 18 miles to the gallon. I don't mind. I'm into double standards.
Oh yeah, that Vanity Fair green issue. Printed on paper. Where does paper come from? Trees. Maybe pulp farms, if your lucky. But how do they get paper from trees? Paper mills. What do paper mills do? Pollute the enviroment. Aaah. The cycle. It's beautiful.
p.s. The author makes no claims that any of the content of this blog is a fact.
*If they really want to save the environment, they should recycle their toliet paper. Because where does toliet paper come from?