Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Life is Good Apparel Does Not a Good Person Make

What is the deal with the world's obsession with the bed of my truck? For some reason, people think it's a trash can. Yesterday morning I got in the truck and drove to Mapco. When I got there, I noticed an old baseball cap with the Life is Good guy on it, laying there all limp and wet in the truck bed. Stupid Life is Good. What a bunch of bull crap. You'd think a person with a Life is Good cap wouldn't toss their litter in my truck. People! It is not a mobile trash can!

Other things I've found in it: fast food sacks, soft drink containers, unwanted clothing, apple cores, banana peels. The ultimate offense? An empty half keg of beer. Yeah, I know. One morning I got in the truck, closed the door and started to back out and that's when I noticed the half keg in the back of the bed, by the tailgate. That one bothered me the most because what if I hadn't noticed it? I'm not sure, but it seems like there are probably laws against hauling half kegs of beer around. That would be a fun one to explain to an officer. OR, it could have really scratched up the paint back there, or come crashing through the back window, knocking me unconscious.

In a way, it's funny. Were it not MY truck, I'd find it hilariously convenient to toss my trash in a random truck bed. What's unbelievable is that it's not just ONE person who's doing it. It happens everywhere. When I'm at home, when I'm at the grocery store, when I'm at the mall, when I'm in Mesa, Nashville, or Logan. It doesn't matter. People are the same everywhere: rude and unoriginal. Once, just once, I'd love to go out to my truck and find a pot of gold in the bed, a rare book, or a Van Gogh painting.

I just wonder, does it happen to anyone else? And do you think there's a way to get people to start leaving good stuff in the bed of my truck? Life would be good -- nay, better -- if people were leaving money and presents for me in my truck bed. None of this empty half keg crap.

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