Wednesday, April 01, 2009

I Was Lying When I Said Agency Wars Is Cool Game

Can I take back everything I said about Agency Wars? I take it back. What a rip! The game is worse than a "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel.

Let me explain why I now loathe it. I upgraded to the 250 version (this has to do with reward points. If you do that, you can buy a very powerful gun -- you need the gun because if you don't have it, you continuously get robbed and never make any money), but I accidentally hit the WRONG button on my Ipod and ended up with TWO of the same gun! (Because I got the gun that only cost 100 reward points, dumb choice I know). What's the good of two of the same gun*?!! AND I CAN'T SELL IT! So much for "superb in-game economics" or whatever their line is on their dumb App page. Also, you have the option of "buying a passport" when you travel so you don't "get assassinated."** These passports aren't cheap. I buy them. But I still get assassinated. Nice work. Jerks.

There you have it.

Enough about mind-numbing role-playing games***. For my birthday I bought all five of the Chronicles of Prydain. I was worried that I had been silly when I first read them and would find them lacking, like I sort of did with the David Eddings series the Belgariad when I tried to reread it during college. I began reading The Book of Three today (the first book in Prydain) and I am not disappointed. Maybe all those years studying English lit. have worn off and I am back to my normal self who can enjoy a good story. Ha ha. Sad, isn't it? How college can taint your world view and socialize you to be a cultural elitist with snobby opinions that are direct reflections of the opinions held by your professors?

I'm kidding, of course.

No, I'm kidding that I'm kidding. I want to go back for my PhD, but I fear that if I do, I'll be suffocated by the stupidity surrounding me.

*In the context of the game, two of the same gun is pointless. In real life, two of the same gun might be nice. I might like to have two AR-15s or two AK-47s or even TWO 1911s. But in this game, it's redundant and useless and even MORE of a waste of real life money than if I hadn't made a mistake and bought the more powerful of the high damage guns.
**Overuse of "scare" quotes intentional to illustrate irritation about game company's lies.
***Here's a question: why do I even WANT to play those games when I have a PS3? Or a computer and can play Guild Wars? I'm sick, that's what I am. Sick!


BIGMANlittleWORLD said...

I've never purchased the passport and I've yet to be assasinated, I was starting to think it was a joke. The trick to the game is to build your defense attributes extremely high, that way when you're not playing you are covered.

What I hate is you get to a certain level and there are not a lot of people you can hit, and you can only win the missions once an hour so you get to a standstill right quick.

Aries327 said...

Nice! Way to go, Sneaky. I see how you're stalking me. I know you're cheating, Mr. Level 60,000.

BIGMANlittleWORLD said...

Yeah but now I'm stuck at 521 and I think they are trying to make me purchase with actual money. I haven't leveled up in 20k experience points, and EVERY agent that attacks me wins, but when I go to attack agents there aren't any anywhere. So I may have reached the end of the game.

Jon Ogden said...

I found the same thing: Prydain can withstand an adult reading. Great books, particularly Taran Wanderer.