The "Big Day"

The "big day" is June 3rd, 2005 year of our lord. I like that expression, 'year of our lord.' I don’t say "big day" to mock my imminent wedding. I’m looking forward to it. Really, I am. I don’t know what I’m making fun of. Maybe everyone else who asks me when the "big day" is. I know why they ask. I’ve been on the other end and I know the things people think when they find out someone is getting married. They’re thinking one of the following:

1) Oh, she’s/they’re getting married. I haven't absolutely nothing to say to that. Boring. So, what do I say now? Congratulations. Hmmm. That seems weak. I need something else to say besides congratulations. I wonder what day they’re tying the knot. Yeah. Oh yeah, good question. Real. Deliberate. "So, when’s the big day?"

2) Idiot(s). She’s/they’re getting married. So hopeful. If only she/they knew the truth. I wonder when the big day is, when they shackle themselves to someone else’s whimsical emotions and lifestyle. Morons. "So, when’s the big day?" Said with a knowing smile and a glint in the eye. (Usually thought by a divorcee.)

3) Getting married. Like I give a shit. Hmm. I better say something that seems like I care, even though I don’t. When? If I ask when, it will seem like I care. Yeah. "When’s the big day?" (Usually thought by a single person who’s bitter that they’re not getting married. Or who’s bitter/disappointed that I’m/Stoker is getting married because they always secretly hoped I/Stoker wouldn’t because they secretly wanted me/him, even though they never stood a chance/took the chance. I’ve been guilty of this one myself.)

4) Sweet! I’m sincerely glad she/they’re getting married. (Upon further mental self-exploration) Wow, I really am glad. I can’t believe it. Sincerely happy someone else is happy. Never thought I’d see the day. "So when’s the big day?" (There really are people who mean what they say and how they say it, just not that many.)

So anyway. Not making fun of my future marriage. I’m looking forward to my release from the darkness of being single. No, but seriously. Being single isn’t living in darkness. There are trade-offs. Being single is tough. Being married is tough for different reasons. Sometimes I think about how difficult it is to work on a relationship, sacrificing your wants for someone else’s and all that. Like when I want to just go home and unwind after work, but Stoker wants me to go over to his house . . . I know it’s rather minor, but you get the idea. I do something for him to make him happy because I love him. That’s growing. You know. Accelerated growth. When you’re single, you just look out for yourself. It’s easier, but lonely.

Anyhoo. We’re getting married June 3rd on Cassi’s birthday (my sister). She’s very honored. It’ll be a Friday, summer will be on its way. We’re going to have a giant swan ice sculpture in the courtyard of the reception center. I’m thinking about six feet tall, with a bouquet of lilies in its beak. We’ll put cloth on its back to hold bottles of champagne for the grand toast and when it melts, we’ll use the water for gondola rides. Just kidding. That wasn’t funny. Sorry. There won’t be any stupid ice sculpture, gondolas or champagne. No toasting. Just a dinner for our families. Elegant and boring. No dancing. No reception line. Just dinner. Fondue appetizers. Mingling. Celebrating. Fabulous.