a) I miss my hetero-soulmate, Christy Baugh. For any of you who know her, you’ll know why I miss her. She’s fun, easy-going, hilarious and uniquely adorable. So. . . all things opposite of me. Because I’m not easy-going, fun, or hilarious. Definitely not, by any means. Anyway, CBG (as I sometimes call her) lives in Logan. I miss Logan too. If you don’t know, Logan is in northern Utah in the valley of the cache. Cache Valley. Going north, the towns come at you like this: Logan, Smithfield, Richmond, the border, Franklin ID, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, Preston ID. With smaller towns (populations of 100 and stuff, so not even worth mentioning) in between. Lewiston might be in between Richmond and Idaho. And Cove. Not sure about that and I’m not going to look it up. The point I was trying to make is that it’s the area where the great Napoleon Dynamite was filmed. And watching Napoleon Dynamite makes me yearn for Cache Valley. I watched Napoleon Dynamite on Sunday night. I miss Christy Baugh and Logan. I lived in Logan for 8 years because that’s how long it took me to finish my undergraduate and master’s degrees. I could be a doctor. But I’m not. I’m nothing. No, I’m something. But I’m not rich.
I’ve known Christy Baugh for four years. She’s great. Really. She’s got style. And no, I’m not a lesbian.
b) I’ve been looking at the Eels’ website*. There’s a link on it to something called Amber’s Guesthouse. It’s funny. Supposedly Amber is E’s mistress. She answers his fan mail. I don’t know if anyone who visits or writes to her believes it. But I don’t. I think E is actually answering it and has created this whole Amber thing as a joke. Have you heard of E and the Eels**? You know what they say, “no press is bad press.” Or “bad press is good press.” Anyway, visit the link to E disguised as Amber (this is my hunch and not in fact, a fact. Don’t go telling E, Nicole said there is no Amber. I don’t want him mad at me). Also, if you’re not an Eels fan, check them out. Their new album came out today and as soon as I blow this joint, I’m going to purchase it.
c) Guilty pleasure: Maroon 5. How can I help it? And how can I not be annoyed with the term “guilty pleasure?” I used it anyway, but honestly I think it’s one of those over-used expressions and I have just contributed to its overuse. More accurately, Maroon 5 is a hidden shame. Don’t tell a soul I like some of their songs. I do. I appreciate the funk/soul beats and rhythms and chords they use. In a way, we should all be grateful for their influence. I think listeners have been turned on to some of the funk/soul music such as old Stevie Wonder and Shuggie Otis—stuff that has slipped through the cracks. Another cliché expression.
d) Have you heard Kalai? He’s a real hit among some locals. But that doesn’t do him justice. His second album, Six Strings and the Rainy Day Man is phenomenal. Pure phenomenal. His bass player is an ex-studio musician who played with bands like Fleetwood Mac (that’s all I know, there could be and probably is, more). I’m listening to him and coincidentally, Maroon 5. Here’s a link to Kalai's site if you haven’t heard him yet.
e) Stoker bought a digital recorder. Did I tell you this? He’s been playing on it, recording stuff. And he’s amazing. That boy never ceases to amaze me. In July we’re moving to Tempe, AZ so he can go to a school for recording engineering. I'm 100% sure he’ll be the next Brian Eno. I always tell him (because I’m so damn positive), “Shoot for the moon, if you don’t make it, you’ll be among the stars.” Aside from its completely inaccurate portrayal of our solar system and the rest of the universe, it’s quite the pep-talkie expression. He finds it completely uninspiring. But he finds me completely inspiring.
*Stoker and I have actually argued over whether it’s wrong to say ‘the Eels’ because the band is just Eels. I say it’s sort of an English grammatical rule to use an article before their name and he says no.
**Never name your band something like that without an article in it already. It’s too annoying. People will insert their own article so you might as well just include it in the title. It’s not like a store will alphabetize it under “the” because who does that? Yes, Music Match does that. But they’re fools.